


Yes, We Cannabis!

by sagansjagger



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng Fluff, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Marijuana, Oblivious Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, References to Drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28743996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/pseuds/sagansjagger
Summary: Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth.Ladybug is sure of it.How else would he explain the fact that his house sucked up more power than eight others in his neighborhood combined? And what about that secret, underground room that showed up in the building schematics?Also, what's up with his hair?Ladybug is ready to confront Gabriel and bust some heads. But his explanation might not be what she expects...
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur
Comments: 42
Kudos: 99





	Yes, We Cannabis!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Khanofallorcs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khanofallorcs/gifts).



> This is a birthday fic for Khanofallorcs from the Miraculous Fanworks' Discord server (link below)! 
> 
> Happy birthday, Khan!

“It makes sense,” Ladybug said, nodding along to Chat’s words. Her partner was so smart; she wondered why she hadn’t seen it before. “I mean, you’re right--to grow butterflies even in winter, Hawkmoth has to have a lot of space and a serious power source for heat.” 

Chat blew bubbles from his pipe. He had a hat reminiscent of Sherlock Holmes specifically to tell her this. Ladybug thought he looked rather ridiculous, but his guess was solid enough for her to put up with it. “Yes, so that means finding him will be easy.”

Ladybug folded her arms. “I don’t know about _easy_. But we should investigate places big enough and with unexplained power consumption. Do you think we could get plans from the city?”

Chat gave her a dry look. “Did you forget that we can just pull up building plans on our baton and yo-yo?”

Ladybug’s cheeks flared with heat. “Er… If I say no, will you believe me?”

“Not a chance.” Chat smirked. “It’s okay, Bug, we can’t be on top of things all the time. You’ve been stressed lately.”

Ladybug nodded, her shoulders slumping. Finals for her last year in lycée were killer this December, and she still had to make Christmas presents for all her friends and family. 

Not to mention Hawkmoth had stepped up the akumatizations lately, almost as if he were convinced he was running out of time. Ladybug had begun to run out of excuses to dip out of gatherings with her family and friends.

“Yeah,” Ladybug said, running a hand over her hair. “So let’s start looking into building plans. Maybe we can talk to someone at the power company.”

Chat blew more bubbles from his pipe. “Let’s.”

***

In the end, there were surprisingly few buildings in Paris that met the requirements. A few restaurants, which Chat and Ladybug ruled out by visiting them. A couple of convention centers. 

And the Agreste mansion. 

Chat was dreading the confrontation with his father. If his father was Hawkmoth, that means the man would have akumatized himself to throw Chat and Ladybug off the scent. 

_What kind of person would do such a thing?_ Chat thought as he pole-vaulted that Winter afternoon to his home. Ladybug was swinging from her yo-yo cable, unaware of Chat’s misery. _Do I even know him at all?_

But Chat couldn’t possibly fathom why else the mansion would have consumed that much power in the past year. And according to the plans he’d looked up on his baton, the building seemed to have a suspicious opening underneath the main rooms. 

Chat landed on a rooftop across from his room, peering inside. He turned to Ladybug. “Looks like Adrien’s not home."

“Good.” Ladybug’s pretty, pink lips twisted into a moue of irritation. “I wouldn’t want him to be here when we confront his father." 

“Does it have to be a confrontation?” Chat hated how whiny his voice sounded. He sucked a breath over his teeth. “Ugh, sorry. I’m just… unsure that this is really necessary.” 

“Can you explain why Gabriel Agreste sucked up more power last year than eight houses in the area combined?” 

“No.” Chat pouted. “But can we just… ask him? We don’t have to shove him up against a wall or anything, right?" 

Ladybug gave him a flat look. “You want to ask the potential supervillain what he’s up to." 

Chat threw his hands into the air. “I’m just saying we don’t have to break any windows.” He muttered his next words, sure that Ladybug couldn’t hear him. “Or bones.” 

Ladybug pressed three fingers to her forehead just above her nose. “All right, Chat, we’ll try it your way. No busting down doors or busting in heads.” 

“You seem awfully bloodthirsty, Ladybug,” Chat said, furrowing his brow at her. “That’s unlike you. What’s really going on?” 

“I…” Ladybug shifted on her feet. “I know Adrien. In civilian life.” 

Chat whipped his head up. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened. “You… do?” 

“Yeah, he’s a friend of mine,” Ladybug said, clenching her fists at his side. “If his father is really Hawkmoth, he’ll be crushed.” 

“Tell me about it.” 

“What was that?” 

“Nothing.” Chat shook his head, puzzling over her identity. Which of his friends could she be? Alya? Juleka? Rose? _No, no, no._ “Let’s go take care of this before Adrien gets home, then.” 

“Good plan.” Ladybug punched her fist into her palm, and then smiled at his alarm. “I’m just teasing you, Kitty. We’ll go through the front door and do it gently.” 

They did not do it gently. Ladybug kicked the door in, yo-yo spinning. “Gabriel Agreste!” she called. “Come out, please! We need to talk to you!” 

“At least you said please,” Chat snarked beside her, baton at the ready. 

Gabriel walked very calmly into the foyer from the dining room, patting at his lips with a napkin. “Yes?” 

_He’s too calm,_ Chat thought, panic rising as bile in his throat. _What if he’s really Hawkmoth?_

Ladybug narrowed her eyes at him. “We have reason to suspect you are Hawkmoth. Can you explain the suspicious chamber under your house and the massive power consumption your home has used over the past year?” 

Gabriel raised his hands. “You’ve caught me.” 

Chat’s heart plummeted into his stomach. Tears stung his eyes and he bit his lip. _No!_

“Aha!” Ladybug said, pointing at Gabriel. “I knew it!” 

“I am growing…” Gabriel continued, as mildly as ever. “... A secret marijuana crop.” 

Ladybug froze next to Chat. Her eyes bugged out of their sockets. “A what?” 

“A what?” Chat said, almost at the same time. “Really?” 

Gabriel smiled, spreading his hands. “Really, really. It’s about to be 4:20. Would you two like to blaze it? I’ve got some great hashish. Primo stuff.” 

“We can’t get high!” Ladybug shrieked, recoiling. “We’re children!” 

“Oh, really?” Gabriel said, cocking his head. “I did not know that about you, Ladybug. Do tell.” 

Ladybug’s yo-yo retracted. She covered her face with her hands. “Aaauuugggh, I was so certain…” 

Chat would have consoled her, but he was too busy being over the moon that his father was engaged in entirely illegal activities that weren’t supervillainy. Chat looped an arm around Ladybug’s shoulders and started steering her out the front door. “Sorry to bother you, Mr. Agreste. We’ll, uh, leave you to it.” 

From the slight widening of Gabriel’s eyes, Chat thought he looked slightly alarmed. “You won’t tell the police, will you?” 

“Nah,” Chat said, shrugging. Ladybug began muttering under her breath about lawbreakers, but Chat decided to get her the heck out of there before she called the cops. “Growing weed in France isn’t legal, but as long as you’re not obvious about it, it’s fine. Right, Ladybug?” 

Ladybug groaned and broke away from Chat, striding to the door. “Ugh. I just want to leave. This isn’t our jurisdiction.” 

“Darn tootin’,” Chat said, beaming at her. He followed her out into the weak, winter sunlight, leaving a relieved Gabriel behind. “Sorry, Bug. Back to the drawing board.” 

“I guess,” Ladybug said, sighing. “Come on, Kitty, let’s go get ice cream.” 

*** 

Gabriel watched the two superheroes leave with dark amusement. He was even more amused when Nathalie, his ever-stalwart assistant, entered the foyer from the dining room behind him. 

“‘Would you two like to blaze it?’” she quoted him as saying, raising a brow. “Really, sir?” 

Gabriel turned to her with a small smile. “Would you believe me if I said I’d panicked?” 

“Not a chance.” Nathalie matched his smile with her own. “You planned that, didn’t you?” 

“Down to the very last offer.” Gabriel walked into the dining room again, intent on finishing his meal. Clutching her tablet, Nathalie followed. “I was wondering when they’d put the pieces together about the power consumption.” 

Nathalie adjusted her glasses. “It was an excellent deflection, sir. Couldn’t have planned it better myself.” 

“You’ll have to,” Gabriel said, taking his seat at the table again and placing his napkin in his lap. “They’ll catch on again eventually. But not for a while, I imagine.” 

Nathalie smirked. “When they do, we’ll be ready for them.” 

“We will be,” Gabriel said quietly, picking up his crab crackers. He crushed the red claws in the metal hinge with a _crack_. 

Gabriel loved crab. He liked to crush things, and crab meat was a delicious reward for his efforts. “We will be." 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr at [@sing-in-me-oh-muse](https://sing-in-me-oh-muse.tumblr.com)!
> 
> \---
> 
> Are you interested in reading or writing fanfiction? Do you draw or edit pictures or even cosplay? Are you looking for a community of like-minded and supportive people? Then join the [Miraculous Fanworks](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) Discord server! 
> 
> We are always welcoming new members, and would love to see you. We offer a variety of conversations, from writing support to encouragement for your art to cosplay tips. We even have monthly server-wide events and group writing projects! 
> 
> Come join today!


End file.
